Creating balance in your life is not about perfection, but rather about establishing daily habits that respect your body physically and mentally. One of these habits is the ability to say "no." This is an essential component of having a balanced and prosperous life.
Do you struggle with assertiveness and saying "no" to people's requests? Are you considered a 'people pleaser'? Since there are not enough hours in the day to accommodate everyone, it is essential to master the art of saying "no" without offending others.
Saying "no" does not entail impoliteness. In fact, there are numerous polite yet assertive ways to say "no" to people when necessary.
Here are several ways to say "no" without being impolite or rude:
1. "No" to the present, but "yes" to the future.
"Currently, I'm very busy. Perhaps someone else can help you. If not, I will have time to assist you later in the week."
This is an excellent method of refusal. It is assertive, but also kind and optimistic. You inform the person that you cannot fulfill their request at this time. You give them the option of asking someone else or waiting until you have time to assist.
2. "No," unless there is a change in the circumstances.
"I am extremely flattered by your request. However, I am not in a position to assume this responsibility at this time. If my circumstances change, could we revisit this discussion at a later date?"
This statement expresses the negative while remaining polite. You express your delight that they've asked you, but are forthcoming about your limited availability to fulfill their request.
3. A categorical "No."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I cannot do this. I'm afraid I'll strain myself."
With this statement, you express regret for letting the person down, but make it clear that this is a firm "no." Without a doubt, they will comprehend that you do not wish to overextend yourself, which will make them sympathetic to your situation.
This response is very courteous and polite. Additionally, it allows them to comprehend your perspective.
4. "No" to attending a function.
"I had a great time previously, but I won't be able to attend this time because I'm already too busy."
Occasionally, you may be invited to an event you do not wish to attend or do not have the time for. Of course, you are under no obligation to attend and this statement indicates that you've had a great time in the past, but are currently overscheduled or busy.
5. "No" to the loan of funds
"I wish I could, but it's against my policy to lend money to friends and family."
Many individuals request financial assistance from their friends and family. It is a difficult situation because you do not wish to insult or offend them. This is a polite way to assert yourself and say "no" while remaining courteous.
You express that you wish you could lend them the money, but then explain why you cannot. You make it clear that this is your standard policy and that you are not saying "no" to him or her specifically.
For whatever reason, many parents feel compelled to always say "yes." Whether it's volunteering at a PTA event, assisting in your child's classroom, or attending yet another classmate's birthday party, you may feel obligated to fit these activities into your already-packed schedule.
However, you can regain control of your family's schedule and your sanity by declining certain invitations. Saying "no" with a pleasant tone of voice will not cause you to lose friends, but it will allow you to set boundaries so that you can enjoy life rather than being drained by it.